Today’s society is obsessed with anything to do with weddings. We binge watch tv shows like “Say Yes To The Dress”, save hundreds of wedding inspiration Pins on Pinterest, and are suckers for any movie that is a love story. We all dream of the day we will fall in love, get engaged, and walk down the aisle into wedded bliss. The truth is, your wedding is exhilarating and unforgettable and while we agree it is a HUGE event, it is just one day versus living a life together in marriage. Have you thought about what happens after the wedding…what’s marriage really like?
Every day we hear people say or see posts about how hard married life is and that you have to work at it. But honestly, it doesn’t have to be hard. Our tips for a successful marriage include things to do before you say ‘I Do”. Simple things like discussing finances, kids, and goals.
See, we believe that the key to a really successful, and mostly stress-free marriage begins in how you prepare to transition into a married relationship. And we are here to help!
Today we have some great tips for what you can expect from married life.
Talk About Money
The biggest problem that occurs between most married couples has to do with money. Now, we know this does not come as a surprise to you but what might be shocking is that even though everyone knows finances can be a marriage killer no one seems to talk about it..before the wedding! Which is when it is most important.
If you don’t know the spending patterns of your love before you agree to live in wedded bliss, then you may be in for a shock. We suggest that you take a little time to talk about who will be in charge of “paying” the bills. By this we mean, the act of paying the monthly bills not earning money.
And don’t ignore their credit. Yep! We know that’s a private thing, but you should inquire about their credit successes or failures while you are dating. Don’t wait until after the wedding to find out. If your credit is good and theirs is awful you will be entering into your marriage with arguments ready to explode.
Why you might ask? Well, the person that has good credit will be the one that holds ALL the responsibilities to help the family obtain items on credit. Not to mention that person will also have to financially help the less creditworthy spouse take care of past financial problems that existed prior to the wedding. And just being honest, most people don’t like having to pay for things that happened before they came into the picture.
Make sure to talk about credit scores and finances beforehand so you can both be on the same page and know upfront what the expectations and added financial responsibilities.
Joining Two Households, How Can It Affect You After Marriage?
If you have two households that need to be joined it is important to talk about this before the wedding. Chat over your favorite coffee or craft beer to decide which home you will reside in and which items you will keep from each. This might sound silly to discuss prior to the wedding but it is really important. Each of you will have items that you absolutely LOVE from your previous life, so keeping them may be important to you.
But honestly, you can’t have two couches, double sets of kitchen stuff, etc so figure out before which ones you want to keep and of course which home you will live in once the wedding is over.
If you already live together before the wedding things will be easier. You won’t have duplicate items to choose from and decide what to do with it. BUT, there are still things that are important and should be addressed before marriage.
Tips To A Successful Marriage
Kids Or No Kids
Having children is a game-changer for any single or married person. It is such a huge responsibility so make sure that you know what your fiancé wants before you walk down the aisle. The worst thing you can do is ignore this conversation, get married, and then find out that your new spouse doesn’t want kids. If you want them and they don’t your marriage will be a challenge and quite possibly will end in divorce unless one of you is ready to give in.
Don’t wait until after the wedding. Find time to talk about whether or not you want children while you are dating or at the latest during the engagement. And make sure your conversation includes what will happen after the children are born. Will both of you continue to work? Will one stay home with the kids to avoid daycare costs etc.
These things are super important to have a healthy and stress-free marriage from the beginning.
Throw Selfishness Out The Window
No one goes into a marriage excited about having to “work on” the relationship, so instead of starting out like so many others eliminate that work by doing this one thing.
Throw selfishness out the window, there is no place for it in your marriage.
In order for your marriage to start out and remain easy neither of you can be selfish. I know this may sound extremely difficult to achieve but honestly, if you truly “love” each other things that you used to stress and argue about in previous relationships will no longer be important.
What’s Marriage Really Like…Unselfishness Is Key To Happiness
Take for instance, if seeing dirty clothes on the floor drives you nuts and your partner does this, don’t think you are going to “change them”. You either have to allow them to do it, without you nagging, or realize that you are not good for each other and shouldn’t get married.
And if there is one cookie left in the box, let them have it. Doing this will show them how much you love and respect their happiness which will instill and encourage the same in them. Everyone wants to be loved but to truly join as one in marriage you have to become one, be satisfied by them enjoying the cookie instead of you.
Don’t Overspend On The Wedding
Oh boy! This is a good one! Please don’t overspend at the wedding just to impress people. If you are paying for it yourselves the worst thing you can do is take all of your hard-earned (or donated money) and spend it on the wedding. First of all the ceremony and reception will only last about 5 hours so it’s kind of crazy to drop $33,000 in 5 hours of time (that’s the national average for weddings in the U.S.A).
There are tons of ways that you can save on your wedding. Here are a few of the most popular.
Get Married On A Weekday. Rates Are Cheaper
Buy A Used Wedding Dress Online
Use Silk Flowers (So You Can Sell Them Afterwards)
Sell Your Used Wedding Dress (Recoup Some Cash)
Use E-vites Instead Of Traditional Wedding Invitations & Save The Dates
An extra special tip in this department is if your family is willing to pay for some (or all) of the wedding sit down with them and figure out how to pay half of what they are offering for the wedding and save the rest. Doing this will start your marriage out with a small nest egg in the bank for rainy days.
If you remember back to the beginning of this article, you know finances are always a challenge at weddings. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some money in the bank so that you aren’t arguing about money from the start?
Being married is similar to an artist painting a mural, with every stroke of the brush an amazingly, unique story bursting with vibrant memories and colors comes to life. Marriage is definitely a work of art, not a quick sketch meant to be thrown away.
Throw self-interest out the window if you want your marriage to bloom into the true masterpiece you desire. You don’t have to work at it if you truly love and respect each other.
Share your thoughts and concerns with us. We want to know, what excites you most about marriage. Share your comments below!
